Recent Twitters

Thursday, October 21, 2004

World Thought Police

A Movie Review/Rant

When I tell people that I saw "Team America: World Police" over the weekend, the question they ask first is "was it good?"

In this rant, I shall try to lay out my complicated feeling in this subject.

Act 1: We get introduced to all the characters, and see a lot of explosions.

Great; loved it. Trey and Matt claim that the movie is meant to be a satire on Bruckheimer style action films and throughout this first act they are spot-on! The music is great. Trey Parker has once again shown us his deft ability to satirize cheesy music. Like "Freedom Isn't Free" (a patriotic country song) or the rousing Team America fight song "America, F**k Yeah". Gems--pure gems. Add to that the absurdity of a marionette kung fu fight scene--comedy gold.

Act 2: Team America makes its biggest mistake, the Hero quits in disgrace -- and it looks like all is lost.

Not bad, as second acts go. The music is still good. Plenty of in-jokes for fans like Kim Jung Ill's "'re breaking my balls Hans, you're breaking my balls" line, which comes from of the "stem cell" episode of South Park. The capper of the act is a song aptly named "The End Of An Act", a love-lost power ballad, that spends half its time slamming Michael Bay and his craptacular film "Pearl Harbor".

Act 3: Mustering courage and faith, the disgraced Hero returns and saves the day.

Not so good. Here Trey and Matt become truly jingoistic in making their repetitive pet statement that the biggest obstacle in the war are...Hollywood actors (a fallacious argument that I will return to in a moment). Distracted as such, even the music value drops here--the main track being "Montage", which any fan of South Park will recall from the "Aspen" episode. I kept waiting for the song's lyrics to be different in some way...but I'm pretty sure it's the exact same song.

Now--there's a lot of talk on the web about Trey and Matt's political leanings. There's even a group of people labeled by the media as "South Park Republicans". South Park, in spite of its coarse language and base humor, often--though not constantly--communicates the Republican position on issues. A common theme on the show is celebrity, and how it damages the kids of South Park [read -- "US"]. Hollywood bigwigs are helpfully painted as assholes, psychos, whores, and idiots. When they come to town, they invariably ruin the lives of these "honest folks without temptation." This is a constant theme of Team America as well. Hollywood Actors are well-meaning egotists that force everyone to think like they do, and we are powerless to think for ourselves, or to stop them. Perhaps it's satire as well, but if so, Parker and Stone play that hand held very tightly to the chest.

Many people say that this movie mocks everyone equally. It's patently untrue. In a movie about the Republican-championed (and thus far, rather ineffectual) war on terror, not one member of the Republican administration is featured. Not one. No Rumsfield, no Ashcroft, no Cheney--no one. In the last act, there's a summit of the World's leaders, yet there is no representative of America. They are conspicuous in their absence. Oh, Team America does execute a marionette representing actress/liberal talkshow host Janeane Garofalo, and documentary filmmaker Michael Moore is portrayed as a psychotic suicide bomber. But it's apparently beyond the pale to even include the Sainted Dubya in this little puppet film. Yet who else would be a more qualified puppet, I ask you?

So okay, Matt & Trey, you fucktards--listen up. If celebrity and fame preclude you from having a voice in this democracy, then you--and Rush Limbaugh--had better SHUT THE FUCK UP. If being an actor means that you are too stupid to be trusted, then we'd better do something about the governor of California right quick! Or is it only people that disagree with you that deserve to shotgunned in the face for standing up to be counted?

Fuck you, you Fucking Hypocrites.

That said...the soundtrack is great. Buy the soundtrack.

Monday, October 18, 2004

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor...

Imagine, just once, luring the master spy into your lair and putting a bullet in his head. Imagine resisting the urge to gloat over your prize, to tell him your secret plans, to let him escape certain death and blow up your lair in the process. Imagine winning.

Yeah, right.

James Ernest?s Totally Renamed Spy Game the long-awaited remake of... Well... I'd tell you what it was once called, but I am legaly required not to.

Players take the roles of super-villains, earning points by luring secret agents into their dastardly lairs, taunting them with deadly devices, and then killing them.

The Spy Game contains 112 cards, including Spies, Taunts, and improvements to your evil lair, illustrated in glorious color -- with every single card featuring MY ART!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

How the Mighty have Fallen...

Darth Vader Mugs Pizza Man... (full story here)

my favorite bits....

...He [the pizza guy] got back into his car to drive away, when Darth Vader, mask, black outfit and all, suddenly materialized. In a presumably commanding voice, the evil Sith Lord ordered the deliveryman to give up all his cash

..."Thank God nothing happened to the victim," Dearmas told the TV station. "We are very fortunate for that." "But things could have been much worse," he added, possibly considering the awesome power of the Dark Side.


Thursday, October 07, 2004

I love stories like these....

My 19 year-old (former foster) son, who has never been interested in politics, sat down with me and began silently watching about 10 minutes into it.About half an hour later he turned to me and said, "Dad, am I able to vote?". I told him he
would have to register but that yes, he could vote. I asked who he wanted to vote for, and he said "Kerry's the tall dude, right?". I said yes, and he said, "I'd vote for Kerry".

I asked him why, and he replied, "Because, I can tell if they were both captured by terrorists Kerry would keep telling them to go f*** themselves, and Bush would cry like a baby and tell them anything they wanted to know".

Today we registered him to vote. -- Proud Dad

You can read more about this from the Proud Dad, KOS, here.